Book Review: The Humans by Matt Haig - More2Read

The Humans by Matt Haig

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It’s hardest to belong when you’re closest to home . . .

One wet Friday evening, Professor Andrew Martin of Cambridge University solves the world’s greatest mathematical riddle. Then he disappears.

When he is found walking naked along the motorway, Professor Martin seems different. Besides the lack of clothes, he now finds normal life pointless. His loving wife and teenage son seem repulsive to him. In fact, he hates everyone on the planet. Everyone, that is, except Newton. And he’s a dog.

Can a bit of Debussy and Emily Dickinson keep him from murder? Can the species which invented cheap white wine and peanut butter sandwiches be all that bad? And what is the warm feeling he gets when he looks into his wife’s eyes?


the divine comedy they represent,
with all their delusions,
with all their fictions,
with all their religious beliefs,
with all their sex, drugs and rock and roll,
with all their technological advancement,
with all their moral decline,
with all their race and class differences,
with all their love for money and fame,
with all their lies and truths,
with all their war and peace,
with all their sense and sensibility,
with all their sound and fury,
with all their to have and have not,
with all their disease and death,
And so they continue on beating against the cycle of time,
knowing all this,
against their allotted time of sparse existence,
they are a strange species,
they still carry on and keep calm despite this,
who in their right mind would want to be human?

I read this story by this author Matt Haig and his telling of one non-human beating against the tide of humanity in all its pot holes and weakness, I must warn fellow Vonnadorians who are reading this book that it is very dangerous and polluting to our species, the poetry recommended by the character in this story likewise, it may be infectious on the mind and the intellect of our species. I was quite magically taken under the writers wing and seeing this human world experience in first person and it all read to be quite credible. I must admit he fooled me with his narrative, he captivated me i was very keen on this humanity, taken in by this unique character of whom he has you have an empathic feeling for, but believe you me this is a farce.
Indeed even with all the weirdness and beauty of humanity portrayed in this story,
we do not need anything from humans, we have much more, we have immortality, what you have before you is a lasting and very brave accounting of the ins and outs, warnings of what it is like to be human, so that we may never want or try to be a human.

My warning to Vonnadorians is…..

“Remember, during your mission, never to become influenced or corrupted.
The humans are an arrogant species, defined by violence and greed.
They have taken their home planet, the only one they currently have
access to, and placed it on the road to destruction. They have created a world of divisions and categories and have continually failed to see the similarities between themselves. They have developed technology at a rate too fast for human psychology to keep up with, and yet they still pursue advancement for advancement’s sake, and for the pursuit of the money and fame they all crave so much.
You must never fall into the humans trap. You must never look at an individual and fail to see their relation to the crimes of the whole, livery smiling human face hides the terrors they are all capable of and are all responsible for, however indirectly.
You must never soften, or shrink from your task.
Stay pure.
Retain your logic.
Do not let anyone interfere with the mathematical certainty of what needs to be done.”
(Vonnadorian Excerpt from The Humans by Matt Haig)

May this book remain in our libraries as a stark warning on the frailty and art of being human.

“I was to be a married man. I was forty-three years old, the exact mid-point in a human life. I had a son. I was the professor who had just solved the most significant mathematic puzzle the humans had ever faced. I had, only three short hours ago, advanced the human race beyond anyone’s imagining.”


Reviewed by Lou Pendergrast on 08 May 2013